On MBSR, Sometimes You've Just Gotta *Choose* to be Happy

 This is a series of posts about post-cancer treatment life.  I post them on Thursdays, and this is post #4. 

Guess when my resting heart rate was 73 bpm? Yes, exactly, it was the day between when I had the CT scan and when I got my results. The stress of a medical test physically affects me.  I wonder how much higher my heart rate would have been if I hadn't started using yoga and MBSR to try and keep it under control. 

One of the most insidious things about having had cancer is how your mind can always find a reason to worry, a reason to look gift horses in the mouth, a reason to go looking for trouble.  This time around I thought I'd done an excellent job of mitigating most of the anxiety. On a scale of 1-10, I was at a 6 even during the time between when the test was complete and when I got the results.  This was a huge improvement over past tests where I would be at an 8 for a couple weeks before the test and then at a 9 on the day the results might show up. 

Looking back at early April, maybe I made a mistake with my mitigation strategies because one of the stories I told myself was that once the scan was done and I got the results that I would enjoy a wonderful worry-free spring and summer.  So I should have been over-the-moon happy when I got my results because my body was completely unremarkable! That is exactly what you want to see in a radiologist's report.  I  did have a very nice weekend, and then (cue foreboding music)  I had my regularly scheduled appointment with my Medical Oncologist. I go every three months and each time they take blood and run tests (CBC, CMP, and CA-27-29 this last one is a tumor marker test). 

While waiting for the results of the blood work, my brain completely forgot that I just had a completely clean scan of everything from my neck to my thighs, and I got stuck in the most draining anxiety spiral, based on nothing!  Then as my bloodwork came in, I poured over it, got worried about numbers that were normal but not the same as last time, googled terms and conditions.  In case you don't know this already if you google anything medical related one of the top three answers is always:

YOU HAVE CANCER.

I tried to use mindfulness, yoga, running, journaling, but it was like I was experiencing a rebound headache, only it was rebound anxiety, and all the anxiety I thought I'd avoided decided to show up.  I know it's not logical.  I had a scan, the scan was all good, then I had bloodwork and it was normal--and yet... and yet. 

I wasted a few days in a pit of pointless worry, and then finally was able to talk reasonably to myself. I said, any way you look at it, life is short.  Do you want to waste more time worrying for nothing? You wanted a clear scan, you got it. Then you wanted to make sure your bloodwork was good, and it came back fine. Then you wanted to see the tumor marker test result, and that was a little lower than last time, so that's great. But here you are, still worried.  You need to just choose to be happy, or not.

Each day I get to choose to be happy!  How great is that!  

Cozy Review for Wednesday #ReservedforMurder from #NetGalley

 Before I share my review for Reserved for Murder by Victoria Gilbert, I must show you a picture of the breakfast muffins I made.  These muffins were supposed to be Blackberry Breakfast Muffins, but I didn't have blackberries, so I used blueberries.  I also added about 1/4 cup of chopped walnuts to the mix, which was a very good call on my part! The recipe is from the back of the book Color Me Murder by Krista Davis.  The muffins are 5 stars and I do recommend them! 

Now on to today's book review.  Reserved for Murder is the second book in the Booklovers B&B 

Gosh, I really enjoyed this book! The murder mystery not only involves an author, but it also involved fan fiction, Goodreads reviewing, and the pressure of publishing.  It was the most bookish of book mysteries I've read to date!   I also really enjoy how Victoria Gilbert weaves the real-life history of Beaufort into her series, from Blackbeard's sunken ship to the Olde Burying grounds--the actual town of Beaufort is seamlessly a part of her series. 

The murder mystery of the book is one that will keep you guessing, there are a handful of suspects that all could be the killer. The overarching mystery continues as we learn more about Charlotte's great-aunt, international woman of mystery, Isabella. 

I was happy to read about Charlotte's growing relationships with Alicia and Damian. Charlotte is slowly growing roots in the community and I want her to be surrounded by good friends, she deserves it. I think she also deserved love, so we will see if that develops as the series moves along.  Mind you, I don't need any sort of love triangle, but Charlotte is still young and written in such a way that you want her to find a partner to share her life.

Because this is the most bookish of book mysteries and because Victoria Gilbert integrates Beaufort, NC so well in her fiction, I rate this book a full 5 stars.  If you like a cozy read, you've gotta read this series.  The book will be out June 8th!  Add it to your Goodreads shelf here or ask your local library to order a copy! 

I received an ARC of this book from #NetGalley all the opinions are my own.  The text of the book might change a little before publishing so I don't have any quotes to share.  

#ReservedforMurder #NetGalley

#CozyMysteryBookClub I'm Going To Be On The Live Stream!

 A bit of a bucket list item, though, I'm not keen on the whole bucket list item, so I'm going to say that getting to be a co-host on the Cozy Mystery Book Club live stream tomorrow is the fulfillment of a New Years Resolution/Goal :-) That's much better right?

 

 Join us!  We will be talking about Color Me Murder by Krista Davis.  It is the first novel in the Pen & Ink Mystery series and the added bonus is that if you buy the book you can color the cover.  Our amateur sleuth Florrie Fox draws coloring books, with a concentration on coloring books for adults and she is the manager of the Color Me Read bookstore in the Georgetown neighborhood of Washington D.C. 

This area is also where Krista Davis's Diva series takes place and in both series, the descriptions make me want to book an AirBnB and stay in a historical home in Georgetown. For now, I'll live vicariously through these books. I borrowed my book from the local library, so no cover coloring for me. 

The book takes some interesting twists and turns, but my favorite part of the book might just be the three recipes in the back of the book. There is a recipe for Raspberry Quick Bread with Vanilla Glaze that seems pretty simple to make and I am sure delicious to eat.  I just need 2 pints of fresh raspberries!  You can find the recipe in the back of the book if you purchase or borrow it, and it is also available at the great website Mystery Lovers' Kitchen the website is run by a collective of cozy mystery authors who post recipes from their books. A great resource for foodies who love cozies! 

The Sunday Post! This Week I Make My YouTube Debut!

  

The Sunday Post is a weekly meme hosted here @ Caffeinated Reviewer. It’s a chance to share news~ A post to recap the past week on your blog and showcase books and things we have received. Share news about what is coming up on our blog for the week ahead.  See rules here: Sunday Post Meme

Here is the link to join the live stream! We will be talking about this month's Book Club Book!  Color Me Murder by Krista Davis. The live stream is Tuesday, April 27th at 7PM EST!

Please keep your fingers crossed that all goes well for me on the live stream!  Eeekkk! 

This past week I listened to Boyfriend Material By Alexis Hall.  I recommend it, it's a sweet romance. I also participated in a blog tour with a giveaway, which is still open so enter here.  And on Monday I shared a free book click here. 

This past week my local public library posted that they are accepting applications for an open Trustee position. I threw my hat in the ring.  I don't know if I have a shot or not, but I've loved public libraries since I was a wee lass, so I had to try, right?  

In other media, We've been watching The Circle on Netflix.  It's a surprisingly engaging game show centering around social media and players who don't actually see each other in real life while playing.  I recommend it! 

That's what's going on in my neck of the woods, how are things by you?  Comment and share! 

My Introduction to Alexis Hall writer of Boyfriend Material

 This is my first book by writer Alexis Hall. Alexis Hall has written a bunch of books including a paranormal investigator series that I think I will check out sometime later this year.  Boyfriend Material is the first book in a new romance series. This was picked as our book club read for April and I was excited to get to read it. 

Well, as I tend to do for this book club, I didn't 'read' it, I listened to the audio. For this book that was a good choice as the reader, Joe Jameson, has the most delightful accent - I assume it's a London accent.  Is that a thing?  In any case, he really helps make the book that much more enjoyable. 

Luc is so hard on himself and right from the beginning you just want good things for him. Unlike most of the Romance books, I've read lately this one is not told from both Luc and Oliver's point of view.  This one is only from Luc's POV and I did enjoy that change. 

The tagline for this book is: 

Wanted:
One (fake) boyfriend
Practically perfect in every way

As you know if you read my blog, I love a fake relationship! There is lots of wonderful banter and high-quality cuddling as this fake relationship slowly morphs into so much more. I appreciated Luc's slowly awakening from depression as he spent time with Oliver and Oliver's actions revealing that he wasn't the only person in the relationship with self-esteem issues and doubts.  This book has many laugh-out-loud moments and tons of the sweetest scenes. 

If I had to compare this story, I would say that this romance reminded me of David Rose and Patrick Brewer on Schitt's Creek.  Funny, sweet, and kind.  This romance was described as a cracked door romance, by a reviewer on Goodreads.  To me, someone who usually reads more explicit romance, I thought it was a closed-door romance. All that is to say, if you prefer more scenes with bedroom ( or other rooms LOL) action, you may be left wanting more, but overall I wouldn't let that stop you from giving this a read! 

On Mindfulness- Based Stress Reduction, Dumb Things My Brain Tells Me

 The entire reason I took the online Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction class in March was that I’ve known since January  I would need to have a surveillance CT scan before April 6th. The MBSR class was another tool I was pretty desperate to add to my mental health toolbox.   And as I have writing about previously, these measures have actually been helpful, which is fantastic because CBD oil and THC doesn’t work for me—a bummer since here in Illinois pot is legal and I would definitely get some cannabis gummies if they would reduce my anxiety. 

There are four days until the scan and currently, I rate my scanxiety as a 5 on a scale of 1-10. The kicker is that it’s not the actual scan that completely melts my brain, it's the time between when the scan is done and when I hear the results. Ack, just typing that sentence moves me up to a 6 of 10.  

The scanxiety will really ramp up on the night before the scan and the day of the scan, then once the scan is over it will drop. The worse time will be during business hours after the scan. At any moment my phone might show the doctor’s number as an incoming call and I won’t be able to hardly breath. Fun fact, since I won that Fitbit from the library, this time I will be able to see exactly how much my blood pressure spikes before the scan and when I get the results. 

As I was writing this post, I found my brain created a new trick to slip past some of my new coping mechanisms. Now my brain is telling me, I should be worried about the scan, because maybe worrying about it is what will make me have good results. In other words, I need to mentally suffer in order to earn a clean scan. How bonkers is that! I mean, top-notch terrible rationalizations there from my brain. So I am noticing this thought and I am allowing it to float on by as I remind myself:

Thoughts are not facts. Say it again: Thoughts are not facts.

Lark and the Loon, by Rhiannon Gelston- A Virtual Book Tour

I’m delighted to be participating in author Rhiannon Gelston’s blog tour for her latest release, LARK AND THE LOON. 

I was drawn to participate in this virtual book blog tour because of this cover! I love the rainbow of color in the background along with the child in profile under a tree. This cover says to me the contents of this book will be filled with the sorts of adventures that can only happen when you are a kid.

If I had to compare this book to another book I would say that Lark's journey reminded me of The Little Prince. A fantastical adventure with unusual companions by a boy who is 10.

I found that I appreciated the fanciful telling of the author's own story as a mother, as I think it made space for telling hard, frightening times with joy and love.

◊ Genre: Memoir with a Twist
◊ Publisher: WiDo Publishing (July 17, 2020)
◊ Print & eBooks
◊ Paperback: 284 pages
◊ ISBN-10: 1947966251
◊ ISBN-13: 978-1947966253

Lark and the Loon follows the adventures of a tentative boy named Lark, as he is catapulted out of all that he knows, into a courageous journey beyond his wildest imagination. 

Upon receiving a special gift from his Gramps, Lark embarks on a reflective journey of self-discovery as the innovative story weaves the true-life memoir of his mother (the author) in with a fantastical journey. With some special new-found friends, Lark travels back and forth from a symbolic tree to his mother’s true memories of life and death moments, and simple moments, found everywhere from wild Africa to their very own living room. Lark and his friends must ascend this tree and gain the important life lessons offered along the way if they ever hope to find their way out. Within this journey, Lark finds these lessons, and ultimately himself, in the space between imagination and truth in this wild tale.  

The story explores friendships, philosophies, and everyday challenges and joys, both from a child's perspective and from a parent's perspective. This memoir with a twist results in a coming-of-age story that ultimately leads to a new understanding of self, others, and the world that surrounds us.

LARK AND THE LOON is available at AMAZON * Barnes & Noble * WiDo Publishing. Also, be sure to add it to your TBR List on Goodreads.

Meet the Author

RHIANNON GELSTON loves to lose herself in all things creative. She enjoys writing, painting, live music, traveling, sports, being outdoors, exploring, playing, spirituality, and energy work. She has a BA in English and an MS in Occupational Therapy with a pediatric focus. Rhiannon just had her first novel published. It is a memoir with a twist called, LARK AND THE LOON, available wherever books are sold.

Rhiannon grew up on Spa Creek in downtown Annapolis. Home for Rhiannon will always be the sound of the halyards hitting the masts on a breezy day, a pile of crabs saturated in Old Bay, raft-ups with friends as kids cannonball off of the stern, and time with family and friends, in, on, and around the Chesapeake Bay.

She lives in Annapolis with her husband, their five lovely and lively children, and their black lab, McNasby.

Connect with Rhiannon on Facebook and Instagram.

Be sure to enter the tour wide giveaway. It ends May 3. The grand prize is a $25 Amazon Gift Card and an eBook of LARK AND THE LOON. The second-place winner has to be a US resident as the gift is a signed copy of LARK THE LOON. The third-place prize is an eBook that two winners will receive. If the Rafflecopter widget doesn’t work, you can still enter by clicking HERE.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Thanks for stopping by today. Doesn’t this sound like an intriguing memoir?

Starting Off The Week With A Free Short Read and Another Rom Com from The Mystic Bayou!

 I've read and listened to a few shorter stories so I thought I'd give some reviews here. But before I do that, I have to share this great spring picture I took on my run the other day. I'm working on increasing my mileage so I am working on expanding my running routes. This is on a four-mile route I do most often during the summer, why? Great question!  In the winter if there is snow, too much of the route isn't shoveled and I don't like trying to run in drifts of snow.  But in the spring, it's a good route and has some of my favorite trees. 

Since I enjoyed running with Love and Other Wild Things, I decided to go right into the next book in the Mystic Bayou series. This one is called  Selkies Are A Girl's Best Friend, and like the other books in this series, the readers are Amanda Ronconi and Jonathan Davis. 

This time around it's Sonja--Gillian's best friend who's come to Mystic Bayou.  She's the office manager and more for the league office and her dander is up from the moment she meets the new Doctor in town Will Camody.  Yes, this is starting off with an enemies to lovers vibe! As I've said before this series is nice to listen to while working out or cleaning.  The readers seem to be having fun acting out these books so you stay engaged in the story and the romance is comedic.  It's a light and fun escape listen! 

In case you aren't aware, selkies are seal people. When they are in the water they are seals and when they are on land, they are people people. 

If you like cozy mysteries, I have a free taste of a series for you!  Just click hear and you can sign up for Ellen Jacobson's newsletter and get a free ecopy of her prequel  Robbery at the Roller Derby. It's a novella origin story for Ellen Jacobson's Mollie McGhie's Sailing Mystery Series.   Mollie is the kind of ametur sleuth I'd like to have as a friend in real life. She's smart, kind and no one's fool.  The prequel doesn't have a murder this is a robbery mystery.  I liked this aspect, I feel that it's hard to build up suspects in a book that is only about 40% as long as a mystery novel. I will be reading on in this series.  I thought this first story was well-crafted and a nice distraction!

Mollie in Robbery at the Roller Derby

 

#TheSundayPost We Are Halfway There!

  

The Sunday Post is a weekly meme hosted here @ Caffeinated Reviewer. It’s a chance to share news~ A post to recap the past week on your blog and showcase books and things we have received. Share news about what is coming up on our blog for the week ahead.  See rules here: Sunday Post Meme

I am happy to report that our household is half vaccinated. Everyone has had their first short. The Man was able to get the J&J vaccine, so he is now fully vaccinated.  The rest of us got Pfizer so we are going back for that second shot in a few weeks.  Here is the selfie I took instead of taking a picture of my card.

It's been a tough week. The killing of a 20-year-old in Minnesota and the killing of a 13-year old in Chicago, and the killing of a 16-year-old in Maryland --all done by police officers followed by a mass shooting at a Fed-Ex workplace made me sad and angry. As a white lady, who has white kids, I don't carry the worry about the higher likelihood that one of my kids could wind up killed during an encounter with the police. I can only imagine how much more heartbroken and angry I would be. 

One thing I can do is give money directly to people who need it. I belong to a group that raises money and gives it directly to BIPOC single moms who have kids with special needs. We share their needs and then give money for food, power bills, and copays direct to those in need.  I'm not saying that for any pat on the back, I'm just sharing something I have found to try and help others. if you follow me on Twitter at @Victoria7401 I post the needs there if you ever want to give! 

I also donate time to help local candidates who I believe in when they run for office. If you want to make a change, you don't have to have money, volunteering time is huge. 

Tell me, did something good happen in your neck of the woods this week? How are you? 

Here is my Christmas Cactus and look---you can see tiny buds!  It's gonna flower!

Happy Friday! Time for a #Readalong Review! Hostage To Pleasure by Nalini Singh #ParanormalRomance

 My approach to the month of April in Chicagoland boils down to if it ain't snowing I'm happy. We had some unusually awesome weather to begin the month and now it seems, fingers and toes crossed, to have settled into mostly sunny skies with temps in the mid to high 50s. I'll take it! 

I don't know about your, but I love watching the trees flower and then leaf out! 

Today's review is for Hostage to Pleasure by Nalini Singh.  It is the fifth book in her Psy-Changeling series and I'm reading it as part of the COYER/Books of My Heart 2021 read-a-long. 

The romance of this installment in the series centers on Dorian one of the Dark River pack's sentinels and  Ashaya Aleine an M-Psy and arguably the top medical researcher for all the Psy. We knew at the end of Mine To Possess that the start of a romance between Dorian and Ashaya was imminent. 

In this book, Nalini Singh features a Psy for whom Silence never really took, so that was a new revelation for the readers.  We also get a manifestation of the duel nature of the net. As for Dorian, he is a latent shifter meaning, he is as jaguar as all his packmates, except he can't physically shift.  This causes him physical and emotional pain.  As I read, I *knew* at some point, some way Dorain was going to finally shift.  I had full confidence that Nalini wasn't going to keep mentioning his inability to shift without at some point overcoming the problem.  That's one of the reasons I am loving this series.  I'm a rider on this journey, I'm not sure exactly what roads we are taking, but I have complete trust in our driver.  Both Dorian and Ashaya have perceived flaws that make them different than others like them. Dorian can't shift and the Silence protocol didn't work on her. This leads to a deeper understanding of each other. 

In addition to the relationship between Dorian and Ashaya, so much was happening in the political worlds of the Psy/Changeling/Humans.  It's clear that the Psy Council is going to come crashing down.  We don't know yet what that will mean for the PsyNet as a whole and now we have a new Human organization on the scene, what are their motivations and how will that affect the characters we have come to love.  I am in awe at all the plot plates that Nalini Singh is able to spin at once--so much is happening in this world and I love to read it! 

As I was reading, the sentences below said by Ashaya Aliene really struck me.  

I thought to myself, Wow, now I get it! That is a description of white supremacy with the Psy being the white supremacists--focused only on their 'race'.  Over and over we have read how the Psy believe the Changelings and Humans as lesser beings driven by their emotions.  The Psy only care about their bloodlines and having power through wealth. The Psy don't even seem to realize that Psy/Changelings/Humans are the same species and what hurts the Changelings and Humans also hurts the Psy.  

Until the Psy realized they are all part of one humanity (for lack of a better descriptor) bad stuff is going to happen.  Fortunately for us, we already know of a nascent network connecting all three races has taken root like a seed that will one day become a mighty forest by the end of this series.