On Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction, I Didn't Used To Be Like This!

Post #2 in My Series of posts sharing me navigating the minefield of my own mind post-cancer treatment. 

Tree beginning to flower on a recent walk. 

 As I work on practicing Mindfulness and living life post-cancer treatment, I am slowly realizing a few things. For example, I’ve been operating from the idea that my medical anxiety and fears started when I was diagnosed with cancer, but now that I have distance from those early days I look back and realize that’s not quite true. When I got ‘the call’ it was more of a ‘crap I knew it!’ moment than a surprise. 

At first, when I was still a cancer newbie, I thought it wouldn’t be that bad. Maybe I wouldn’t even need chemo and I was sure I’d be fine. I wasn’t worried that it could kill me. I wasn’t worried when I had my surgery, and I wasn’t even worried when I found out I had the BRCA-2 gene. I still had great confidence that I would be cured, even finding out I’d need chemo, didn’t rock me. 

What destroyed my confidence in my body was the bone scan. I didn’t think they would find anything, just another test to hurdle over, no big deal—my biggest problem was I’d be starting chemo soon and that stupid stuff was going to make my hair fall out. 

I was in the walkway from the hospital to the parking garage when my Medical Oncologist called me to say that my bone scan results were in and that everything was good BUT there was one tiny spot on my pelvis and she wanted me to get an MRI. That was the moment all confidence drained from my body. It has not yet returned—even though once I had the MRI the tiny spot was ruled to be a bony island. If you are going to have a bony something an island is what you want to have. 

It’s funny how something so small and something that turned out not to be anything ‘bad’ completely destroyed the confidence I had in my body for decades. It’s also wild that having come to the realization of how much that phone call rocked my world—so not in a good way—knowing the genesis of my fear is helping me to worry less. Not having a psychology degree, I do not understand why this has made a difference, but I will definitely accept any reduction in medical anxiety!

#2021 Audiobook Challenge Review - Pure Fun and An Easy Vegetarian Dinner!

 

Spring Fried Rice from Real Simple Magazine.  Simple to make and easy to modify! 

I didn't have nori (dried seaweed) or cashews on hand,but I did have a red bell pepper that needed to be used so I added that and I doubled the garlic in the recipe. If I had leftover ham, pork, chicken, steak, any of those proteins could be included if you didn't want a vegetarian meal. If you sub tofu for the eggs, then the recipe is vegan. 

Next time I make this I would like to add more scallions and pea pods. 

 

I tried to be very patient when cooking the egg so it done without flipping it.  I feel I succeeded. 

Now that it is looking like the Chicago Marathon will be a go this year, I've started to increase my running mileage and that means, I'm on the hunt for audiobooks that are engaging to distract me from the long miles I need to put in to build my stamina.  

This week I listened to the second audiobook in the Mystic Bayou Series by Molly Harper: Love and Other Wild Things.  Having enjoyed book one, How To Date Your Dragon I was ready to dive into Love and Other Wild Things.  This book is the story of my favorite side character in book one, Zed the werebear and mayor of Mystic Bayou.  As in book one, this story is loaded with humor:

“You would think I would have weird abandonment issues, considering that both my parents left me behind. But I’m pretty well adjusted, except for this little thing where I run from emotional intimacy like my hair is on fire.”
― Molly Harper, Love and Other Wild Things

One of the best parts of book one was the best friend duo of Bael and Zed, I was very happy to see it continue in this book:

“Bael, you’re my best friend, but please don’t smell me. We’ve talked about this.”
― Molly Harper, Love and Other Wild Things

This book was a great distraction as a ran. I love to read book series in part because I enjoy seeing the characters unfold when reading a series.  Book two in a series also gives the reader a clearer understanding of the overarching conflicts in the story.  

4 stars- if you have Audible, definitely give this series a go! 

Ready for some Coziness? #NetGalley #PintofNoReturn

 Trinidad is one of the three former wives of a white-collar criminal named Gabe.  She is now divorced from said con-man and has relocated to her ex-husband's hometown.  Why?  Well, the only good thing he seems to have done was leave her a building in Upper Sprocket, Oregon.  Trinidad Jones is opening an ice cream shop that will feature fantastical giant shakes with loads of toppings that she calls Freakshakes.  Just a few weeks before her July 4th opening, Trinidad stumbles across a dead body.  

Dana Mentink's book includes everything that makes a cozy a cozy.  We have a quirky small town, We have an amateur sleuth who is new to town. Trinidad has this wonderful dog named Noodles who flunked out of service-dog school and was rescued by her. Trinidad makes a friend and that draws her into the murder investigation.  Trinidad also meets Quinn the nut farmer who is a military veteran that is also the caretaker of his brother. I can't imagine anyone reading this book and not thinking Quinn is a great guy.  There is a real tender friendship, leading to affection and a future romance (?) between Trinidad and Quinn that is so lovely to read. 

The suspects all have good motives and the red herrings and clues make perfect sense in the story.  I appreciated that in this series the police chief is not a love interest, and she is portrayed as very competent at her job.  Additionally, as the story and the sleuthing goes on, Trinidad isn't out running around putting herself in danger and leaving the police investigation out of the loop. 

I think this is an excellent example of a cozy mystery and I would recommend it to anyone looking to start reading the genre.  I'm looking forward to reading more in the series!

5 stars, I don't really have any complaints! 

I received an ARC of this book from #NetGalley, #PintofNoReturn.  All of the opinions are mine! 

#TheSundayPost is Here! Happy #NationalPetDay !!!!

 

The Sunday Post is a weekly meme hosted here @ Caffeinated Reviewer. It’s a chance to share news~ A post to recap the past week on your blog and showcase books and things we have received. Share news about what is coming up on our blog for the week ahead.  See rules here: Sunday Post Meme

Did you know that April 11th is #NationalPetDay?  Do you have a pet cat, dog, turtle, fish, etc?  Tell me more! 

His Royal Highness, Bowie "The Dog" 

Speaking of pets, Monday I'm reviewing Pint of No Return by Dana Mentick (I won an ARC for review from #NetGalley). This cozy mystery has a super lovable rescue dog named Noodles who is our sleuth's cozy companion.  

I also picked up a couple of Cozies from my library - Color Me Murder by Krista Davis. This is the April Cozy Mystery Book Club selection and I get to be a co-host for the YouTube live stream this month!  I also borrowed Death in D Minor which is the follow-up book from our March book club!

Don't forget to tell me about your cozy companions! Have a great week! 

Happy National Unicorn Day! Today I have 3 Short Book Reviews! And a #VegetarianDinnerOption

Hey hey, I got to use my mini food processor for this!  You could also use a regular blender or a hand blender to make the pesto.  Once again, I was missing an ingredient in the title of the recipe, but nevertheless, I persisted.  I substituted more parsley for the missing mint. The finished meal was fresh and full of the taste and smells of springtime! From Real Simple Magazine, Fusilli with Minty Pea Pesto 

I listened to the audio of  The A.I. Who Loved Me because it was by Alyssa Cole and it was included in my Audible subscription. This audiobook is more of a play for your ears as there are more than just one or two readers--including Regina King!  The story is the kind of top-notch contemporary romance you've come to expect from Alyssa Cole.  The story is so engaging I don't know if you should listen while driving!  

This is a short prequel to Rosie A. Point's Burger Bar Mystery series. If you want to give it a read you can click here and get a free copy.  When you are ready to read the series you can find it here on BookBub along with other cozy mysteries series Rosie has written.   The murder in this short book is simple, but I think it's more about meeting main characters in the Burger Bar Books. I liked being able to get a taste of this series before hopping into the first book. 

A handsome man and his abs grace the cover of this new release by Lisa Torquay. This is a historical romance that takes place in England in 1820.  The author  Lisa Torquay uses the language of the time so it may read as antiquated if you are used to reading contemporary romance. As you can tell from the title this book uses the trope of a class-bridging forbidden romance. He's a miner; her family owns the mine.  Being a woman, Amelia is seen as an asset to grow instead of a person with their own wants and needs.  It being the early 1800s, Amelia's brother is planning to marry her off to increase the political standing of the family. Will she throw a wrench in his plans?  You have to read to find out! You can purchase this book on Amazon. I was given an ecopy of the book by Lisa Torquay to review. 

On Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction, Welcome to The Worry Bar!

 Hi There! 

This is the first in a series of posts about anxiety, post-cancer treatment life, and coping skills. I'll be posting them on Thursdays.  Please share or comment below if you like! 

Ivy starting to regrow on one of my top five favorite trees I run past all the time!

Welcome To The Worry Bar! 

During the month of March, I took an MBSR virtual class. MBSR stands for Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction. However, when I say it in my head I always read it as Mind Body Stress Reduction. This is also a decent description. During week three of the MBSR class, the instruction focused on Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy and that apparently is my jam. 

One very helpful tip I learned was that thoughts are not facts. This has become my little mantra for all the times when my random thoughts start to get out of hand and illogical worries start circling in my brain. Now instead of getting completely stuck on the road to panic; I say to myself: "Thoughts are not facts." Yes, technically some thoughts are facts, but in the realm of my rambling brain, they are mostly not facts—especially if they relate to worrying. 

MBCT also focuses on reducing aversion. For example, if you have a worrying thought, and you try to shut it down or push it down with ‘be positive! think happy thoughts!” —what happens is you spend more time pushing that thought away than if you would just allow it to be. You don’t have to give it attention, just acknowledge it, allow it to exist in your mind, and then go about your life. It sounds too simple to work, and yet…It seems to work?!? 

Using my imagination I created a bar in my mind. Currently, it's a seedy dive bar. Dark interior, surly patrons, and a limited menu. I named it “The Worry Bar”, I know, not very creative or punny. Maybe later I’ll give it a nice alliterative name when I’m better at  MBSR and MBCT and have some room in my head to breathe and be happier. 

All thoughts are welcome at The Worry Bar. I’m the proprietor and sole bartender. It does have a lovely glossy mahogany bar with well-worn leather stools and then there are four top tables with captain's chairs. Along the left and right sides are empty booths with cracked vinyl seats and Formica tables. Normally there are only a few thoughts hanging out in the dark, dank space of the bar, and oh did I mention,  the jukebox is broken. I am hoping as time goes by I might be able to give it a remodel, put in some new lighting, clean the windows, and have it become more of a gastro-pub or a craft brewery. I want to have lots of fun happy thoughts who are enjoying fried pickles and freshly brewed IPAs. Or if it’s summertime, iced lattes with a nice charcuterie platter and a bottle of perfectly chilled Riesling or a fresh lemon shake-up. That is however too hard for me to contemplate right now. 

Currently, I have Scanxiety (anticipatory anxiety based on an upcoming medical scan) just hanging at the bar nursing a kombucha. She’d like to have a beer, but I’m the owner here and she doesn’t get to pick her drink. She can stay as long as she wants to, but I’m in charge of the menus so it’s kombucha and stale popcorn for her.

 

Tomorrow I am scheduling a CT scan which is routine and is the best current method of surveillance for me. I had a lot of treatment and am doing all I can to make sure my body is as healthy as it can be for decades to come; so I don’t want to potentially undo that work by not having the routine checkups because they stress me out. All that is to say that scanxiety may really start ramping up once I make the appointment tomorrow. That's why I decided to take the MBSR class in the first place, I knew I had to schedule a scan for late March and I wanted to try another non-medicinal tool to manage my fears. 

When I get a handle on my thoughts, The Worry Bar is going to have big soft pretzels and super zesty beer cheese.

The Answer to What to Do with Leftover Ham and a #2021AudiobookChallege Rom Com Review! #ParanormalRomance

This month's Real Simple magazine had some dinner recipes that were actually as easy as described.  Today I'm sharing my experience making the Ham and Leek Quiche recipe.  Now as often happens I had to make substitutions in order to make the recipe with what I had on hand.  For this recipe, I lacked leek and buttermilk.  In place of the leek, I used scallions and a shallot. In place of buttermilk, I used sour cream mixed with 1% milk. Here is an article on various buttermilk substitutes.   It turned out so well! 

If you are looking for a paranormal romance with plenty of comedy, look no further than the first book in the Mystic Bayou series!  This is an audible exclusive audiobook and is also available on Kindle and in paperback. Since I have an Audible subscription, I listened to the audio version.  There are two readers, Amanda Ronconi for Jillian's POV and Jonathan Davis for Bael's POV. Both readers do an excellent job voicing the characters and make the story come alive.

I have to say that Zed the werebear and Bael the sheriff are my new favorite comedic duo.  Their scenes are too funny!   

“He tried to call himself Zed Oakendesk, after watching the Hobbit one too many times, but Bael refused because a man shouldn’t come up with his own nickname.”
― Molly Harper, How to Date Your Dragon

This book has a nice balance of comedy, bedroom scenes, and mystery. By its nature as a Bayou town where supernatural beings live alongside humans, you get a great bunch of local characters. It's the kind of story where you wish you could drive down for your next vacation. I'm trying to listen to this series throughout the month of April so hopefully, I'll have at least a review of the next book in the series before the end of April. 

A quote so you can get an idea of the humor/sexy mix:

“She wasn’t prepared for the way the humidity absorbed into her clothes, sealing them to her skin in a thick layer of sweat. She was not prepared for the distraction Bael’s ass would pose, bobbing through the brush ahead of her like a perfect peach wrapped in skin-tight denim. She was staring at it, suffering the oddest craving for peach pie,”
― Molly Harper, How to Date Your Dragon

4 Stars, very fun audiobook! 

In the second book, we get to see Zedd find his mate! 

 The pussy willows along the sidewalk down my block. I love watching Spring begin to unfurl.  Knock on wood, I think that due to the warmer than typical March we enjoyed, we should see trees and bushes flowering more than usual for April in Chicago. 

Cozy Mystery and Spicy Stew! #2021AudioBookChallenge

 If you enjoy cozy mysteries, I suggest following the Crooked Lane Books website. They publish a wide variety of entertaining new cozies.  A bit more modern than the traditional cozy, but still well within the guidelines of the genre.  They are typically fast-paced and have colorful covers On Borrowed Crime by Kate Young is a prime example of what Crooked Lane publishes in the cozy mystery genre. 

On Borrowed Crime is the first book in Kate Young's Jane Doe Book Club series. The series takes place in a small town located north of Atlanta, Georgia.  Lyla Moody is our amateur sleuth, but maybe not so amateur as she has just begun a job working as an assistant to her Uncle who is a P.I. 

What I liked about this book is that it blended a cold case and true crime into a cozy mystery. Additionally, Lyla doesn't put herself into dangerous situations and her best friend is not over the top silly or 'sassy' The book is fast-paced and if you are a fan of mysteries, you'll likely enjoy how Kate Young incorporates Agatha Christie's And Then There Were None in this mystery.  

Lyla is single in this book and for those who look for romance in their cozy reading, this book is virtually romance-free. I could see romance featuring potentially in the future, but it isn't a feature in this book. 

I don't know if this was on purpose or just happenstance, but this book reminded me of Charlaine Harris's book Real Murders in that both take place in small towns north of Atlanta, both involved members of a crime related book club, and in both books, characters talk about how unseemly and weird it is that the main character is interested in true crime. 

Overall this was an enjoyable book, and the reason it's closer to a 3 than a 4 for me is that reading the scenes with Lyla and her parents you would think this book was taking place in 1971, not 2021.  The dated attitudes towards women were just too much. 

Stars 3.5, I will probably read the second book in the series to see where things go. I really felt like Lyla's parents and a few other people treated her like she was 14, not 31, if that is a continuing theme then the series isn't for me.  I like women in their 30s to be treated as such.  

If you are looking for an easy spicy meal for a weekday dinner, I recently made this recipe and the Hubs loved it.  It's from Real Simple Magazine, Spicy Chorizo Chili

Happy Easter! The Sunday Post #1 of April 2021!

 

The Sunday Post is a weekly meme hosted here @ Caffeinated Reviewer. It’s a chance to share news~ A post to recap the past week on your blog and showcase books and things we have received. Share news about what is coming up on our blog for the week ahead.  See rules here: Sunday Post Meme

Happy Easter to everyone who celebrates Easter. Here is a picture from an Easter about 12 years ago. Looks at my cute little bunnies! 

I hope you had a nice week.  The exciting news here is that I got an appt to get the 1st dose of the Pfizer vaccine!  Yes! Hip Hip Hooray! 

This Tues, April 6th, is the release date for a wonderful new YA book by Brittney Morris, I reviewed it on Friday, you can read my review here: The Cost of Knowing.

This week I am starting a series of posts on Thursdays.  These posts will be about how I am dealing with life post- cancer treatment.   I am planning a series of four posts and I hope you read them! 

Also, I've got some audiobook reviews coming up this week:

It is going to be very nice in Chicagoland for Easter this year, so I've got the teenage kids cash-filled eggs ready for a backyard egg hunt tomorrow.  I was going to hid some eggs for The Hubs, but they don't make wine bottle-sized plastic eggs - haha! 

Do you have any traditions you'll be enjoying this Easter - to celebrate or not celebrate the holiday? (ie in pre-covid days going to the movies or such)? I like a good egg hunt and think it should be done for any and all holidays, it's fun to hide stuff and watch people look for it. Mwahahhahhahaha

New Release by Brittney Morris #TheCostofKnowing #NetGalley You Can't Put This Down!

 Brittney Morris writes the kind of book you can't put down.  Her YA characters are compelling and loveable and you just want all the good things for them.  If you have not yet read her novel Slay, I suggest you add Slay and The Cost of Knowing to your TBR pile and follow Brittney Morris so you don't miss any of her future books.   Reviewing this book is a little tricky because I want to be sure not to spoil anything and yet I want to tell you so much! 

On Goodreads, Brittney Morris wrote: "My love letter to all the Black men who had to grow up too early." This love letter is wrapped in an amazing tale about a teen, Alex, who in the aftermath of a car accident that killed his parents on election day, now sees visions of the future whenever he touches any person or object with his hands.  

Alex has been managing to be a functioning human for four years even as he is hit with a vision every time he touches anything and the longer the touch continues the further into the future of the object or person's life he sees. Worst of all Alex can't change the future.  He tried a few times and it didn't change anything, all the bad things happen. What a nightmare! I could not function.  

Brittney Morris gives us an excellent depiction of crippling anxiety and how it affects Alex due to his power.  Additionally,  she shows how anxiety permeates Alex's life because he is a Black teenager.  He has to navigate a world of never-ending minefields.   He has to use code-switching not only to hide his power but also to make his existence more palatable to white people.

This is a five-star read for me.  It is beautifully descriptive as it deals with hard subjects, you can feel the love Brittney Morris has for the characters on each page you read, and I don't think it would be possible to read this and not love these kids.  I stayed up late to finish it and my heart is filled with both joy and deep sadness. 

The Cost of Knowing is the sort of book that will stick with me for a very long time; it's a book that makes me want to send a thank-you note to Brittney Morris for putting it out into the world. 

New spring growth from one of my most recent runs.