Dinner Talk

Now that school has resumed I'm making more of an effort to have family dinners because they say that family dinners help kids to get better grades and avoid drugs. And because I want a good routine with kids who get enough sleep to learn and behave at school. 

Tonights dinner was very interesting.  I say how was school today Anna.  Anna says, I saw K. on the playground and she said her little brother said the A word. 
Patrick says what's the A word? 
Anna replies "A*^h(le. "
I foolishly say: what did you say?
Anna says "A*&h)le.
Patrick says what is an A**h*le?
I explain and tell them it is a swear word and a very mean thing to call someone.

Then Anna says and then K. said her sister said the S word.
Bryce says oh I know what that word is, "Stupid" I say that is not a nice word.  That isn't the swear word though, if you listen carefully your dad says it too much.
Patrick: "oh you mean Shut it."
Me: No that's just rude, it's not a swear word.
Anna (did I mention this is her 2nd day in 1st grade)says: the s-word is Sh*t.
Patrick, age 10 and a fifth grader says: What is sh*t?
Me: Pooh
Bryce: LOL
And then Bryce said what is a swear word?
I elaborated on inappropriate words and how they shouldn't be used and how grownup say them but they shouldn't. So on and so forth.

Then Anna says the Fword is really bad. And I say yes it's really important not to say that one. 
Patrick: what's the Fword?  Fart?
Me: no, not that.
Anna: F&*K that's the Fword. Reem said I am a F*&K. 
Me; that is extremely rude and not true and it's not appropriate for Reem (also a 1st grader) to say.
Patrick: F*&k, F(*k
Bryce: F*&k, ?
Anna: F(*k, Like you know you say: "I hit my head on the door, I'm such a f*&k. 
Me;  Anna don't ever call yourself that, don't be mean to yourself.
Patrick: What does f*&k mean?
Me; You guys have to stop saying that word it's really inappropriate and not something kids should say.
Patrick: Well what does it mean?
Me: Sex, it's a rude way people use to say sex.
Bryce: That's when a boy is naked and the girl has their clothes on and they kiss and stuff.
Me: Well the girl would probably be naked too. Sex is something you want to wait on till your older.
Bryce: If you have Sex, you do it to have a baby, so if you want to have 3 kids, then you have sex 3 times.
Me. Some people have sex because they want to have a baby and some don't want to have a baby they just like it.
Bryce: ohhh
Patrick: how do they have sex and not get pregnant.
Me; well a girl can take a pill
Bryce: you have to be careful because you could have a baby if you have sex right? 
Patrick: gross eww gross eww
Me: Yes
Anna: sometimes girls like girls.
Me: Yes
Patrick: so if a girl was in love with a girl then how can they have a baby.
Me: They could use artificial insemination or a girl could have sex with a boy.
Patrick: Then when the baby is born, she could say to the boy, OK leave now, I love the girl and we'll take care of the baby.
Me; Well I suppose but that wouldn't be a very nice thing to do to the boy right?
Bryce: what about if 2 boys have sex where does the sperm go?
Patrick: maybe one of the boys would turn into the other boy?
Me: No, nothing happens you have to have a sperm and an egg.
Anna: what if a girl didn't have eggs and she had sperm.
Me: No, girls have girl parts and eggs and boys have boy parts and sperm that's what makes girls girls and boys boys.
Patrick: gross, ewwww, gross
Bryce: So if you and Dad have sex then we could have a baby?
Me: no your dad had an operation he doesn't have any sperm anymore.
Bryce (looking worried) does that happen a lot?
Me; No, it's up to the man.  You can have sperm your whole life.
Bryce: phew.
Anna: Can I be excused ? Can I watch Zoey 101 now?
Yes go ahead.